A good story :
The other afternoon my father asked me to join him and my mother for dinner. My panic button immediatly went off. Now part of the back story to this is:
I share a house with my parents where I have seperate living quarters and a door (which I had put in) that protects me when needed. Most of the time. Usually.
One of the effects of my depression, besides the panic attacks, anxiety.......etc, is I'm light and sound sensitive. Very light and sound sensitive. Places like O'Charley's and Applebee's are sensory overload to me. I'd rather you scrape your nails down a chalk board. Twice. How long have I had this? 10 years - How long have we lived together? 10 years.
Now I know Dad's invitation is meant as his gift, it's a gift that we have discussed many, many times. So when he asked this last time and the idea hit my button, it was all I could do to say, "I'll let you know later." Then I laid down on my bed hugging a pillow and cried.
Later I reminded Dad (again) of my condition - Now this is my Issue! "I thought you might change you mind", he says. CHANGE MY MIND? Silly dad.
Do you ask a recovering alcoholic if they can drink yet?
Do you ask someone with a broken back if they can lift boulders yet?
My first reaction was to be mad and scream, "Have you not heard what I've told you?" I find it very frustrating (among other things) to have to repeat this senerio. And why do I, the mentally diseased, have to keep explaining to the mentally eased, what my limits are. If I can remember what I can't do, why can't they.
I know that most people have an autopilot reflex (or is it reflux) to try and "fix" someone's problems. Especially fathers but, geez. For the energy it took me to recover from the invitation and the discussion we could have shared several nice take-home meals from what-ever the restuarant.
So that leaves me and many others too, trying to handle not only my limits and foibles but my family's and other "Fixers" as well.
Don't Fix, Just Listen.
JCM
W by:patchwork
Don't fix, just listen!
Tags: Panic Understanding
My Name Is Josh Maier - I am 32 year old male. Was an Army Officer and a Software Engineer.
I have Brain Disease - My form of Brain Disease is Panic Attacks and Clinical Depression:
What is Stigma ? The level of embarrassment and shame that happens involuntarily in the person with the disease and the family and friends of the person. These are very different levels and will have to be broken down to reach understanding..
Ch-X
why is it that a person without an MD can not give a scientific study of a medical field and it be found credible , important , and how does hit get in the right hands of someone who could do something with it i.e a MD?
Psychiatry does not take a huge amount of book knowledge , it just takes study of case to case. As far as a Doctor in respect to the word “doctor” on the food chain its not exactly a Surgeon .. The practice is almost theory and philosophy at this point. There is not “ definite ” answers. Every doctor says”lets TRY this over the next few weeks.” Try Try- its theory . Now the word “try” in psychiatry means “try X medication for at least 6 weeks , at least. So it can be said that one medication will need to be taken for 3 to six months due to the need to up the levels to see or Try for better results. If you “try” six medications that is 3 years minimum of “trying” to diagnose the problem if you can due 3 years of trying. Six medications for a clinical case is low . I have “Tried” 10 . The medications , as all know do Not have to help, they help some and non help all and non help even “most” patients . They help some .To say a number is not a science because its mental illness and part of it is the Stigma of the word until that is gone then people will not truly know the level of honesty is breaking the ability to have accurate scientific data. People say they want honesty about it but don't see the consequences of it they have tunnel vision. Breaking the stigma will not just help it will save life. A heart patient is going to get a fact of what should be done to help cholesterol , there are no such finite instructions in psychiatry . So in those respects psychiatry , when actually being done is just listening for patterns like all trouble shooting jobs with a non spBreaking the Stigma of Brain Disease or Mental Illness: To help the Level of Terminal Brain Disease –
Stop the Suffering of the words and everyone including medical science can have new understanding of Bi-Polar , Schizophrenia , and Manic-Depression .. Break the Stigma and help the diagnoses .
ecific solutions not like most troubleshooting jobs , not like fixing a car engine or computer or again – diagnosing a clogged artery . Psychiatry is for an intelligent person at best , people practice it in there homes everyday and say what others did but you only tell people you Really trust . Perceptions of Stigma.. So psychiatry is the Tiddly Winks of the medical profession so to speak . Its like car salesman but we still call them salesman . Those books in college are just some pages . A person with it for his or her whole life that can comprehend life is much more valuable then someone spit balling . It would be nice to know that this field would not spitball when dealing with Terminally ill patients.
Ch-X
People describe terminal as – not being able to not die .. Schizophrenia , Manic-Depression,and Bi-Polar are that way various points in there life so its a level of terminal on a day to day , more times week to week or month to month basis depending on that persons level of function , not motor function of speech functions although speech with very due to levels of anxiety in these cases .
For many years one of the main things needed was understanding, and that is not easy, if is impossible to reach understanding when the stigma of having Manic-Depression , Bi-Polar, or schizophrenia is as costly as stating you have those things so the person will not be honest with others due to he does not want to admit a “life defeat” to say he or she is mentally handicapped. The price of stigma of those words and attaching them to your life ability in others eyes is heavy. If you say you have these things at a job interview then you will not get the job. But people that love you will say “you can do anything you want.” So this becomes a discussion about ability vs the reality of stigma .This statement is about what others will allow you to do when honest . People say always be honest and people are not intolerant to mental disease these days , or “its not like it used to be in the past , people are much more understanding these days.” This is surely true but how far does that go . Can a person with Bi-polar go into a job interview and have great qualifications for a “good” job , have great interviews , be able to do the job to a tee? Yes. If the person during the job interview is honest that he has Brain Disease and tell the interview he is Bi-polar or Manic-depressive? No , not and get the job . That would be like saying in an interview you are gay-10 years ago and trying to get the jobs gay people can get now and be hones about who they are .Same for woman 40 years ago trying to get a “mans” job, not going to happen .Same for Blacks and any other minority .So those things are exactly the same thing when we discuss ability vs stigma . Not about gender or color at that point .
Ch-X
Why is it so hard to see who had Bi-Polar or Manic – Depression which are very close by all descriptive purposes? If takes 10 years of study to even see a pattern of whats going on , ten years at least. You have good days and bad days , sometimes can have a month of good days and sometimes you can have a month of bad days. On the good or healthy days normal comprehension is not possible only because of the way you feel just like Cancer patients or someone that has a sinus infection when a person is sick what they can and cant due becomes limited.
Ch-X
When you have the flu and have 103 temperature you can read , write ,due physical exercise learn,speak,even laugh and cry , all of these functions can be done and even be excelled above the Norm is some cases , its done all the time. A man that hates doctor when asks how he feels with say sometimes “fine, I just need some rest , keep those doctors away.” Now, while he is sick does he read, write, speak,or look physically any worse then when he is healthy? Probably yes. Does this person have an inability to learn and grasp concepts at this point , does the sickness stop the brain from doing normal life comprehension ? no. The person is just sick. Same thing with Brain disease you can think , speak , learn , and do normal comprehension . You just need to lay in bed and get rest.. Of course the symptoms are not the same , this description is to show abilities during illness and to find some common ground that most should be able to understand.
With Brain disease you have the abilities of everyone around you , read, write , learn , comprehend ..The days you have trouble with these are the days you are sick and then all of those things are not as possible. How extreme is a person to person case due to how sick you are each time. There is not a way to know how sick someone is , there is no thermometer to take your depression temp so medical science is not anywhere close to helping people with permanent Manic-Depression. That is actually part of the level of sickness felt each time you get sick you become more sick . That has to be universal for anyone that has a uncured disease especially the thermal ones . Bi-Polar and manic-Depression are highly terminal regardless of treatment or not . The only thing different about saying you have terminal cancer and Terminal Brain disease is the word usage due to ignorance . Suicide is a terminal illness so lets stop saying the word “suicide” for clinical manic-depression and Bi-polar or schizophrenia patients , if there is no cure the science has proved the rate of suicide or death in those patients is about 2-6 , rough numbers, so that should be described as terminal brain disease and people with it wont feel they cant talk about it as much when it seems to be the same as other disease. At that point we are helping break the stigma..
Now if there is not a level of stigma existing in a huge way functioning in every family suffering with Metal Decrease , which is 4 of 5 families then when a family member thinks another family member might have a illness or sickness that has symptoms of Disabilities or Bronchitis for example a family member will tell the personalty you need to get checked out for Disabilities at the doctor go see Dr. So and So .” or “that sounds like bronchitis , you need to go see an internist .” Now when people see someone having years and years , ten years , of bad life decisions , clearly meeting all the criteria of Mental illness . No one says casually “ you sound like you have Bi-Polar go see Dr. So and So .” it does not happen in the same type of breath at all . Whats the difference? Nothing, the severity is worse for the person with the mental illness yet we are scared to say this to someone even as a suggestion, that is due to Stigma and is a huge problem . yes it exists on very high levels and is not being addressed in the correct way today at all.
How do you know when someone is sick ? At present people are not able to see are actually say they are sick until they are very sick. The reason is they are ashamed they have the illness and know if they give up to it then they can not live the life
This is a rough draft and I would love to add any comments or posts from anyone .. I am not done with this by any way shape or form.. thank you . Break the Stigma .
Tags: Break The Stigma - Solve The Problem
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