WASTED - 11/02/09

another part of me just died
the journey is over
lost contact with the base
plunging toward the earth
thinking about my life span as i descend down
thinking about my inception to this final minute

it was a hell of a ride
but so very very sad
to think that i thought i was actually living freely
but it wasn't even close

fought tornado's caused by other sick family members
battled high winds caused by insane emotions
high temps of summer burned my core like anger
i thought this was a normal life

tricked to believe that i had a life
but i never owned it for myself
it wasn't owned by god either
cause i didn't know he existed until later on in life

as taps plays for this lonely part of me
it breathes its last breathe
in raging anger and raging sadness
the anger turns my skin red like blood
sadness fills my eyes with blue love

cursing the life that i had
cursing how hard i tried to change it
cursing the struggle that came with it
cursing the struggle WITHIN
that only got diagnosed this last year

Sad for others that loved me
Sad for myself
Sad for being depressed way to often
somber thinking about wasted years