Dearest, somehow, you're not showing in my friends box- gee, i hope i didn't hit some wrong button somewhere!

Still tryin to work out the semantics of gettin out that way. After all the years of haulin chitlins around, i thought i'd get a reprive when they graduated and went "off" on their own.

OH! Helll No!  The younger one has a job, but no licsense, the older one has like two gigs (Meaning long late nites and- you guessed it- just lost his licsense! No matter how hard i try to get out- they keep pullin me back in! MO

Hey T, Long time....hows sis?  Yeah, this whole deal with my kid is killing me (and his Dad) by degrees. Other than these violent moodswings, mik is a totally right on little human. He'll often go to any length to help out a friend, and, because of what he's had to experience in his short little life, he's pretty adept at figuring out who the wackos are. He smokes a little doob, which is fine by me, and usually, when he drinks, he only drinks beer. As niether one of us are employed, when we are out in the realm, we "must be dependent upon the kindness of strangers" as it were.

The problem arises from the general public, so enthralled a few of them are with his talent, that they feel the need to repay said adoration with liquor shoots, something of which i'm sure you know is custom round these parts. Oftentimes, the end of a song warrants Applause, which used to be common in society, its what makes a shy kid turn to theatre, once one hears that noisy affirmation, its the same as a line of coke. It ffeds a primordial part of our brain. However....it seems the new custom in this milenium has become "DOOOOOD! SHOT!" Mik himself has even told me, "Mama why can't they just clap? Why couldn't they instead gimme a frikken tip in my jar so we can get a beer an have enuf money to get some gas?" It frustrates him. He views himself as out here tryin to earn some kind of living performing his craft- yet folks will become quite belligerent if you don't drink with em'. I just don't understand the diff. KWIM?

 Just now, he has found out that one of his gigging buddies has checked himself into rehab. this guy, while not anywhere as talented as mik, has something mik does not possess- the ability to go out and round up gigs- to sell miks talent, But, as i discovered a few weeks ago, this guys a hopeless alchoholic, who's apparently lost his bisness, is living with mom and dad,and loves to wax poetic about fights he never started, cops he's tussled with and his frequent trips to the drunk tank.

i think mik is starting to see the light of this association, and is trying to distance himself from this albatross. August seems to be a very wacky time in these latitudes, or possibly, its just my families cosmic makeup. Nevertheless, strange things always seem to happen in august. UPDATE- it seems as tho the aforementioned is suffering from a possibly burst appendix. As to the moodswings- his dad i'm beginning to believe may possibly be the catalyst to this whole dysfuntional melange- this guy is passive aggresive to the point of bordering psychopathy. He keeps just reacting the same way when these outbursts arise, and most often takes the kids side, even to the detriment of now, both me and his sister. Then he seems to think if he BUYS mik another guitar, everything will somehow right itself. Now, wait a minute....what is the definition of insanity?! Doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different outcome!

Its like the plumbing/bathroom thingy, he thinks if he puts enuf glue or patching on the pipes, they'll be all permanently fixed, Well, twenty years of blowing pipes, crawling under the house and now, terminal water damage to the floors and joists cannot be fixed with either glue nor ignorance. That always his backup plan, ignore the problem until it goes away. Oh, how we actually long for the days out there in UCLA at the "Rancho Paradiso", where we shared 265 sq ft with seven horses in other side of the barn and seven angus steer outside. It's i think like 2000 acres and our toilet clogged up all the time, but we were there, me an mik an jen, poor and happy, and away from insanity. Of course you know UCLA stands for "upper conway, lower aynor"....

Thanx so much for your cosmic support- i thank god for this site, where we can all prop each other up in the face of burgeoning insanity- and we're supposed to be abnormal!!! as ever MO

NKM2 Ahoy Fall 2010!

Fantastic! So great to hear back from you! NKM2 Hiatus coming to an end; finishing up some art projects with a slight controlled manic edge. Classes start on the 23rd so weekends will be my advocacy work time. Looking forward to hearing your story too.

Beat_FlaneurLissette wrote:

[/quote]

Hi Terri,  I live way
up in Errol, New Hampshire.  Lots of moose, bears, eagles and Canadian
visitors. Canadians are OK except for those who have taken one to many hockey
pucks to the head.  I was born in Toronto, hockey puck
central.  I moved to the Bay Area in California, and when I was in California I had cancer. The doctors dealt
with it swiftly and decisively.  I moved
to New Hampshire
about 5 years ago.  I was suffering from
severe depression so I  went to the
doctor and was diagnosed with clinical depression and bi-polar disorder.   I didn't know what bi-polar disorder was
until then.  All I knew was that my professional life was a
success and my personal life was a train wreck. So I guess bi-polar explains
that.  I’ve seen doctors, therapists and
a psychiatrist and have been prescribed a multitude of medications, none of
which has helped.  I may be wrong, but I
just don’t think the medical professionals here know how to deal with this
complex disease.  I’m probably wrong.
Maybe what I need is:

A white straight jacket

And a pink carnation,

A padded room

And my imagination

And all dressed up for the dance.

Dave.

Terri Thank your  for your comments and your thoughts and prayers. My doctor and psychiatrist have been prescribing bipolar and depression medication for about 4 years. Nothing has worked. In fact the side effects have caused some major problems. I question the quality of the medical care I receive. Doctor's visits las about 15 minutes then a snap decision without much research is made concerning a prescription medication. Thant seems dangerous to me. My last visit to the psychiatrist resulted in a 200% increase in my medication. That made me unable to function properly so I took it upon myself to reduce the dosage.  My conclusion is that my doctor and psychiatrist are just "pill pushers'.  Perhaps it's because I live in the extreme north and good doctors are hard to find up here.  Anyway, thoughts and prayers are more powerful than medication so thanks for being my friend. Dave.

Absolutely welcome to NKM2!  Looking forward to hearing your story and sharing!  Sending love, light, and positivity!

Hi Terri ~

Just dropping in on my friends to see what's up.

steph

Hey thanks Terri for letting me know about what's going on with you. Your a very strong Lady, you have a warrior's soul. God Bless you more each day and may you find that He is strong when you are weak. - R