Alex, good to hear from you. I was worried. I know how heavy life can get. In my high school days, I had suicidal thoughts& tried to act on it once. HS days are so filled with drama/trauma. Even today I don't like thinking about HS.
Now, thank the gods, I can say to the world; well maybe most of the world; ok just my immediate world, "I'm backing away now- you're too close". "I'm mental & I have the papers to prove it!"
The good thing about ropes is, when you get to the end of it, you can always tie more on.