This letter was written to Joe Pantoliano by  Amy Ferrero, following a screening of NKM2! at Wilton High School, in Wilton CT...

JOEY...THANK YOU

Sitting in the auditorium and literally my organs were shaking.  Humbled by the naked truth that you have so artistically,and harmoniously painted before us.

WONDERFUL

I met you for a brief moment in the Wilton Coffee shop as I nervously tried to enunciate the critical and ironic time that you brought your message.

I spoke of a dear friend in isolated secrecy  took his own  life in Wilton May 30.09 -

I wanted you to have a copy of  what I wrote for him 5 months ago at his funeral.  I am in awe of how close my words were to your cause and without knowing how close I was to my own truth. 

..you are illuminating a dark corner!!!!!!!!!!!!! .Keep the fire burning!!!!Blaze the trail...we are all behind you. I will see you tomorrow at silver hill.  I have something to give you.

SPACE

One of the biggest struggles of this lifetime

If not the MOST difficult is the one of TRANSLATION 

The struggle to communicate dreams, emotions, pains 

our INTENTIONS to the WORLD!!!!!

I delicately attempt to translate the voice of one of the most

 powerful yer humble

creative yet financial

boldly enormous 

yet fragile petite

Fullest

people I have ever met

There are so many ways to travel this life

You could take the back roads or  the highway

You could cruise in a limo with shock absorbers

or be in a "73 VW

Feeling all the potholes and inhaling all the exhaust

Jeremy was EXHAUSTED

Being a VW myself, I shared a connection with Jeremy

As a comrade in this caravan I would ask you to explore the TRANSLATION of his gift.

How do you interpret sentiments?

How do you translate intentions?

The language of love has been dissected, analyzed for milleniums

the truth is there is not right answer

the right answer is the one you CHOOSE to believe

IT is up to you ......how you will translate Jeremy's gift

I choose the translation of LOVE.

A light so bright

a apirit bigger than a body could hold

Carries the weight of the world and pain untold

His voice spoke in laughter

and for such a small frame 

his back broken from the heaviness he could not name

He loved family more than arms could hold

he paid the ransom

his own soul he sold

he saw them as an undeserved treasure

inching whittling away for himslef did not measure

He wore pain in his eyes his body and in his own mind

his intent was to spare them from the uncertainty he would ALWAYS find

A man with this much love for his family and wife

ironically translate his love BY TAKING HIS LIFE

Mental disease is one that our society is completey unkown

disected

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"In the medical model, you take a person with a mental illness, you provide treatment in the hopes of reducing symptoms, and then they're supposed to approximate some notion of normality. Our research shows the opposite. You take a person with a mental illness, you then reduce the discrimination and stigma against them, increase their social roles and participation, which provides them a reason to get better in the first place, and then you provide treatment and support. The issue is not so much making them normal but helping them get their lives back."  

- Larry Davidson, a professor at Yale University

Tags: Stigma

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By Anne Harding

If you're feeling down, it can be hard to tell if you're experiencing a
temporary case of the blues or a serious depression. Now a group of
researchers say there's a relatively easy way to figure out whether some
young adults are at greater risk of psychiatric problems or drug abuse --
just ask about their family.

It turns out that the more family members you have who have been found to
have major depression, anxiety disorders, or drug or alcohol dependence, the
greater the chances that you will too, according to Terrie E. Moffitt,
Ph.D., a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University's
Institute for Genome Sciences & Policy, and colleagues, whose study was
published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

The bottom line? The researchers recommend that doctors ask a few quick
questions to determine a patient's family history of psychiatric problems.
People who have a strong family history should be closely monitored if they
become depressed and should be treated promptly if they meet the criteria
for clinical depression because they are at risk for more serious, ongoing
problems. Health.com: Booze, drugs, and bipolar disorder

"It may help save their lives ultimately," says Douglas E. Williamson,
Ph.D., of the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio, who
was not involved with the new study. Health.com: Why there's a link between
depression and diabetes

Moffitt and her team looked at 981 New Zealanders born in 1972 and 1973;
from age 3, their mental and physical health had been tracked by
researchers, although they were in their early 30s at the time of Moffitt's
study. The researchers used a simple family-history screening test with
questions that identified the severity and persistence of major depression,
anxiety disorder, and alcohol or drug dependence. (The question format is
nearly identical to the one your doctor uses to find out whether you have a
family history of heart disease or breast cancer.) They calculated
family-history scores by looking at three generations of each study
participant's family, including his or her grandparents, parents, and
siblings over the age of 10. The test typically takes less than 30 minutes
to administer.

The researchers found that the more relatives a person had with major
depression, anxiety disorder, or alcohol or drug dependence, the more likely
he or she was to have that condition too. And the stronger that family
history, the greater a person's risk of having recurrent bouts of the
condition and to report that it impaired his or her ability to function.
These individuals were also at greater risk of being hospitalized for that
condition, and to take medication to treat it.

The simple test was developed and published in 2000 by Myrna Weissman,
Ph.D., a professor of epidemiology in psychiatry at Columbia University
Medical Center, in New York City, and the director of the Division of
Epidemiology at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, and her
colleagues. Health.com: Change one thing, change your life: A primer for
improving your mood

People who have a family history of depression have long been known to be at
greater risk of the mental illness themselves, probably for both genetic and
environmental reasons, Weissman says. "The reason that I developed that
instrument is because I think that family history is one of the most
important predictors of outcome," she says. "The family history scales that
were available were very lengthy and they weren't suitable for just ordinary
screening."

Weissman thinks doctors in general practice should use the test. All too
often, physicians ask about family history of cancer, heart disease, or
diabetes, but not mental illnesses that can have a serious impact on all
facets of life, she says. Health.com: My life as a bipolar mom

"People who are depressed don't do well in school, don't do well in their
work, and they often don't do well in their marriages and interpersonal
relationships, and those things have a whole cascade of effects," she says.

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Marco Pantoliano

We the people, are in a state of crisis. Essential human qualities like fellowship, empathy, and honor, are fading rapidly. We are too wrapped up in competition, too obsessed with power and fame. We're surrounded with corporate crooks, corrupt politicians, scandalous financial executives, shameless celebrities, and doped up athletes, all setting a bleak example for future generations. Who's to blame for this rapid deterioration of moral fiber? The convenient answer - the people in control, the guys who run the show, those responsible for the shape of society. While this is true to a degree, we must all start taking responsibility for our part in the glorification of greed.

While those who have taken advantage are responsible for their share of the blame, the rest falls on every single citizen who passively let things get this bad. In every aspect of our culture, we are promoting greed, we are unlike any other country in the way we burn through resources, in the way we saturate ourselves with entertainment, sex, and commercialism. We expect immediate gratification, don't feel that we need to put in the work for the reward, and because of this we have completely lost our sense of substance. Our country has become a place where the strength of our ethics is determined by the risk of getting caught. The United States is a capitalist country, but we are not supposed to gain that capital by any means necessary. Now we're enthralled with excess, we have the most money, the most military power,the biggest houses, the biggest cars, the highest level of obesity, the list goes on and on. We are walled in by mountains of stuff, trapped inside a convenient bubble, expected and encouraged to live beyond our means, and now we're paying the price. 

A harsh toll is being taken on the bodies and minds of Americans. The day of reckoning approaches, where will you be, physically, mentally, spiritually? It's time we started being better to ourselves, and those we touch. Time to accept that there is beauty in everyone, and no one has the right to say different.  We must stop measuring ourselves by impossible standards, and start treating ourselves with the utmost respect. When we can do this, start conducting ourselves with more honor, and abandon petty aspirations, the world will be a much more pleasant place.

To hope for every man to conduct himself with honor, is too far fetched, dishonor is just as much a part of the human condition. However, as we evolve, we should be working to act with more honor, and less dishonor, for the sake of collective harmony. The fact that every man is flawed, does not give man the right to perpetuate negativity. It is up to us all, to monitor our more unworthy actions, and adjust them toward a positive course. This is the only way to achieve personal growth. People that shamelessly lie, cheat, and steal, are guilty of criminal acts against humanity. They're disconnected from their fellow man, viewing him only as a resource to be drawn upon. They spread destruction, and breed negativity, two things we need none of these days.

Ultimately, it's up to us all to stop thinking that someone else is going to solve our problems, and start taking action in bringing the change that we all want and need. If you see something going on that's wrong, do something about it, do the work that's needed to better yourself, and don't follow in the footsteps of crooks and liars, you will always pay the price for profiting from dishonor in one way or another. Conversely, when you act with honor, the reward is always great.

I feel in my heart that the people of this great land have the ability to change for the better, and pick up where we left off, setting a positive example for all humankind.

Tags: Self-improvement

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