When I scream do you listen or do you just hear

Do you know that it’s panic, anxiety, fear

When depression attacks, leaves me deep in the well

Do you know that I’m lost; I’ve been dropped into hell

I try to escape; I long for salvation

But no exit is near on Bipolar vacation

1 comments View Entry

When your pain is my pain and my pain is yours

The windows slam shut and so do the doors

Thrown into the darkness, though never alone

We each gasp for breath as we each search for home

Sinking then drowning – what else can we do?

Would I have come here had it not been for you?

0 comments View Entry

For me, one of the hardest parts of having Bipolar Disorder is trying to hold on to the unrelenting chaos that thrashes about wildly, frantic to escape my head during an episode. Desperate to come forth are thoughts and reasonings that have been mangled beyond recognition: a secret that should remain unspoken (symptom: attention gathering); an allegation of an imagined betrayal (paranoia); an elaborate explanation when simplicity would have served (a loss of self-cont... Read More

2 comments View Entry

I'm having a recurrence of Bipolar depression.

I'm not having the flu. I'm not having mono. I'm not having to visit distant family members. I'm not doing any of the things I might have told people I was doing. I'm suffering from mental illness. It's a real and painful disease, and I get it treated the best I can. I see doctors. I take medicine. I am sick.

I decided that with this relapse, this instance, I am going to be honest. I'm going to put it in the open, and though I might... Read More

4 comments View Entry

I can't think of anything more painful or more heart wrenching than that of the day to day life of a parent of a child with a serious mental illness. This is not to diminish the pain of parents of children with medical illnesses or of parents who have lost a child, but it is different. The isolation is palpable. The acceptance and sympathy is not universal. There is still, in this day and age, shame and the perception of failure. Yes, there are wonderful support groups and caring and knowledg... Read More

1 comments View Entry