I think that we all encounter times in our lives that what we believe is challenged.  The test isn't so much the circumstances but rather how we get through and grow.  The last eighteen months has certainly been a challenge.  It actually had me questioning my parenting abilities.

The breakdown of Miss Emelie's challenges has really garnered acceptance to her challenges and on the prowl to help her overcome them.  This lovely little angel will be challenged her whole life to learn.  While I have watched my son succeed acedemically without much effort (with the exception of Social Studies and Geography), Em will have to work 3x as hard to grasp the basic concepts.

Over several days I have actually asked my mother and husband, did we do this to her?  Did we do something wrong to cause these deficiencies?  I knew better but that was the first thought that came to my mind.  Then there is the how can I help her learn to help herself?  How can I teach others about this condition so there is acceptance?  I got over it and although I still occassionally struggle with it, I'm holding on that she will WIN.  She will succeed.  She will overcome obstacles.  Why?  Because she can.  I don't allow it to be used as an excuse... I can't isn't a word that is allowed... why?  Because SHE CAN.

That and we have a support system in place.  Without that support system, I would have crashed and burned.  That's a huge thing.  Support to allow you a place to just crash...  Take off the mask and just let the emotions and struggles out in the open.  If you do it with certain people or situations, it's your whinging or not accepting the situation.  That's not it at all... it's the stigma society has put out there that almost mandates that we be all... stoic all the time.  We aren't allowed to struggle or make mistakes.

First and foremost is our Pastor and his wife.  The constant reminder that they offer and support has meant more to me than I can ever express to them.  My faith has been given a solid foundation again due to the ministering of compassion, understanding, encouragement, and laughter.  They accept my daughter and son and family as it is.  I don't have to put on a "show" for them.  We can be ourselves and not apologize.  (No offense to anyone whose beliefs are different.)

Then there is the circle of friends and family that have come out of the woodwork to "walk" with us through this challenge.  Some are just listeners, some are offering ideas based on their own experience (that whole NKM2 thing) and then there are those that offer prayers and thoughts. 

But I haven't layed down.  I keep fighting and searching.  I do research.  I help her everyway that I can.  I keep moving forward and try not to look back except to see how far we've come.  The things I have encounter in my "walk" has me realizing that I am strong enough.  I am NOT alone. 

So despite the "outsiders" view looking in and not understanding or knowing... I'm at a place in my life that I CAN hold on.  I will make it.  I will survive and keep my faith.  And at the end of the day... I WILL make a difference for my daughter and others like her because I will not shush.  I will not hide or make my daughter "hide" her "dis-ease" because it makes someone else uncomfortable.  Too bad so sad, the tide is turning and there WILL be acceptance someday.

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