Unfortunately, brain illnesses are like any disease. You can't treat them unless the person with the illness allows the treatment. The only treatment I know of for BPD is cognitive behavior therapy. BPD does not go away on it's own. If the person is resistant to therapy they may not be ready to go back to revisit the thing or things that likely caused the BPD in the first place. BPD has been shown to be an illness that has its root in childhood abuse. If said isn't ready to go back and essentially relive what happened to overcome it you cannot force them. There is no silver bullet. There is no quick fix. You must wait until she is ready. You never know when that will happen it may be tomorrow, it may be never. It took me 23 years to talk about what happened to me, but once I did and started the therapy, my life started changing rapidly, but I was willing, I wanted to. Family memebers had been trying to force me for years, but I would skirt the subject and talk about "fluff" as they called it. Stuff that didn't really make me feel. I found a really good therapist 2 years ago that pursueded without being pushy and made me feel comfortable talking to her. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but unless your BPD wants help there is nothing you can do.