Its been a long time since I last wrote here. I've been caught up in life I guess. Kevin and I moved in together some months ago. I'm not alway sure it was the best step for our relationship but as we were both in a financial binde at the time it was the best step for our wallets .

Things have been up and down for me. The tides of depression are rolling back in towards me. But tho they have been more frequent periods, they seem less intense. I have gained a pretty good upper hand on my anxiety tho, I think. And I am still proud to say I am fighting this with no medication at all as of yet. However unfortunatly my continuing search for employment has been haulted until I have my mental condition assesed and treated.

 Sometimes I feel ashamed that I am going to have to take medication just to be normal.. Like people are going to look at me like I can't control myself without the aid of chemicals.. My family still is not very supportive of the idea. And kevin makes me sad sometimes. Now that we are living together he faces what it's really like to live with "someone like me" .. He says to me sometimes that I need to just wake up one day and stop being like this.. Just stop feeling it.. I feel bad because he tries to help in his own way and be supportive but he gets frustrated because he just doesnt understand.

Otherwise tho things have been fairly good, like I mentioned above I am getting a pretty good handle on my anxiety. I've stopped avoiding going out and taking public transit. Still sometimes I find my myself excusing myself to get a grip on the rising anxiety in social situations, but for the most part the frequency of these feelings has decreased to an almost managable level.

Since I usually like to end my blogs in a positive way,on a final note, I would just like to thank everyone here on this site who takes the time to read my little blogs and leave me wonderful and supportive comments . It's people like you that get others thru the day.  Thank you all so much, and God bless!

Puddles

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