Dear Tracyln,

May I suggest you already are 'normal'.  Its normal to struggle when life's challenges steer you away from the magnificent person you were born to express.  Sometimes even though we don't like our circumstance we work hard to stay right in it without realizing it.  For example, you went from an abusive childhood situation into an abusive marriage.  Abuse is what you know and so in a weird way, its safe. That's ok. Like everyone, you're doing the best you can with the light you have to see.  If you want to change what you experience you have to change how you think. So, try this.... instead of thinking thoughts that make you feel sad and alone, recognize that lots of people struggle as you do.  You are not alone. AND lot of people who once struggled as you do found a way to rise above - a way out of the darkness and into the light.  Lots of people have become stronger and even more vibrant from the lessons they've learned while overcoming their challenges.  If they did, so can you.

thanks. i dont think ive been normal anywhere in a very long time. my list of meds would scare a doctor. lol  and icant say that any of them work. i still feel like im alone on a desert island fighting offwolves every day... not sure what the next step is

You're normal here dear; i, too, suffer from major depression and ptsd, and since a whole slew of horrific experiences- i, too,avoid real relationships like the plague. i don't take pharmafoozooticals because i think most of em are total bullshite, and do more harm than good. The only way they're deemed to be "working", is when we're to zombified to complain.

i go the natural route- and was just recently lucky enough to replenish my herbal stock for next year. i'm adding rhodiola and creatine to the cocktail of St Johns wort and 5-HTP. But thats just what works fer me. Of course, if one is to pursue the natural route; ya gotta be weaned off the pharmies first.

Welcome Trace! Yer always "normal"here! MO