see, here is the problem, i wrote this really great song and i was very proud of finishing it.....i even made a video for it and completed last night.....i was so proud of myself for completing the project...i showed the song & video to my wife last night and she gets freaked out....she was like, your mentally ill again.....i didnt think the song or the video was that depressing but thats why i am mental i guess....it is a song about depression and the video is sad, i guess....the song is called silence....i know i haven't been normal lately but my playing and writing is good therapy for me....they might want me to stop for a few weeks and vocalize my emotions without the poetry or music....ouch....that sucks....is it obsessive that i have written about 75 poems since the end of January or does that mean that i am truly mental....is it mental that i have only had 9 guitar lessons since the end of June and i have already written the music & lyrics for 3 songs....who knows.....whateva....they are throwing out terms like bi-polar II and shit like that.....again, whateva

AVI dearest, i don't want to minimize this recurrence, but i do want to offer a perspective. As one who has suffered this affliction since i was seven, i have had to come to terms with it always being there. Its a handicap. Something that makes me different, but doesn't define me. i can also only see outa one eye, but that doesn't define me either. Nobody knows unless i tell them. If you have just recently been diagnosed with this affliction, at this point in your life; chances are that the meds will work for you with some tweaking. Keep that faith in your heart. It will lift at some point. This episode for me has been going on five years now, and i have to fight just to get outa bed and to this machine that offers me some solace for a brief time. i truly wish pharmies would work for me, but they don't So, when i can afford it, i can get my herbals and vities and everything kinda evens out. But i will always have this handicap.

i just don't let it define me. i can on occasion still paint, and sometimes i can even laugh, and smile; however hollow that may feel inside. But i can do it. i sincerely hope your wife & kids understand the struggle you're in. i hope they can offer support. Now, mamas gonna tell ya, no matter how bad you feel, lock that bad dog in his cage. Go pick up that guitar of yours and learn three chords. Play em over n'over til you can do it in your sleep. Learn a jimmy buffett song- learn a beatles song, but play.  whodafuk knows anyone normal anyway?! whos to say they're normal enuf to judge the un-normal?! or sane enuf to judge the in-sane.  We're here for ya, dude. oh an heres a big hug from mama, she ain't right either! (((((((())))))))

Does anyone even know what "normal" is anymore?