I'm Sarah. I am almost 29, married with an almost 2 yr old daughter. I have been being treated for Bipolar disorder for about 7 yrs. now, although, I have suffered my ENTIRE life with mental, emotional, and personality problems. They say i also have ADD (Innatentive). Anyway...Last week...after 4 or 5 days of pretty bad mania I woke up feeling great! Had a wonderful day without mood swings and really enjoyed that feeling I don't get much of. Sure enough...it was VERY short lived! The next day, I crashed! I spent most of the morning sobbing in my husbands arms for no reason. I had no ambition or energy. I just wanted to cry! The next two days were pretty even, I'll admitt. Then, the anger came. From the moment i opened my eyes until I layed my head down again that night I was soooooo angry I could have seriously hurt someone!!  I just don't understand!? I take my meds religously, see my counselor regularly and put to use every coping skill I have on a daily basis. I should be in a good place! I try very hard to take care of myself mentally and physically. I struggle everyday and fight my illness so my family and I can live a normal life. Well, on that day that I sobbed for hours, I remember hearing myself say..."Why?" "Why do I feel like this will NEVER get better? That, no matter what I do, this will just ALWAYS control my life!" I Pray every night that I am wrong.

Tags: Bipolar

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