I wrote this in June 2009, 6 months into my recovery from depression.

INVISIBLE

my eyes face a new vision
as i wake each day
my mind faces a new battle
but in a new way

the battle used to be good vs. evil within me
and the two sides were be at odds frequently
but the new battle is to see life differently
i only live for good now and its clear
the evil is dead & in remission but there's always fear

the fear that i will not be strong enough to outlast
dredging up darkness from my past
cause these new emotions take me over so fast
and the range of emotions are tough to deal with....vast
and they are still hard for me to broadcast

my brain cycles the thoughts over and over
and i want to give into defeat
so i become silent and distant
as the thoughts go on repeat

my chin goes down
my eyes look down
i want to runaway and become
the sad drifter strolling through town

but i had peace for the last couple of weeks
and i was able to perform
how many more mental battles can i take
before it gives into the emotional storm
because its constantly fighting to conform
to being happy, peaceful and norm
and my mind feels cold again searching for the warm

my body is tired from constantly jumping over every mental hurdle
but i have not tripped yet
and my therapist and my family are my safest bet
and i must face the bullets and cannot forget
that every battle won leads to a beautiful sunset
even when the torment grows bigger and bigger
cause i didn't see it coming, another invisible trigger

Tags: Poem Depression Poetry

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