I wrote this in May 2009, 5 months into my recovery from depression.

YELLOW

the road is a long one
and i doing my best to not come undone
and its a fight everyday to change
teaching my mind to re-arrange
thoughts that have been wrong for so long
and i am tired today and its tough to remain strong
cause i have so many issues that are lifelong
and i question why should i belong

cause when i am tired, i am weak
and the truth is tough to seek
and the future looks bleak
and i want to continue on my losing streak
these are honest emotions that i speak
for the former circus freak, current dark geek

for i have a lot to regret
i have a lot of bad sh#t that i cannot forget
and its tough to swallow it all the time
its f#cking tough to go through life, acting as if everything is fine
but this is no joke and this battle is hard
opening up so many hidden scars
looking up to the stars
for answers from a person that no longer exists
a person that perished almost 2 years ago
which pushed me down the path of a zero
he was my true hero
and he now lives with the rainbows
and i know he doesn't want to see me this way
and i know that my family doesn't want to see me this way
and reading this might offer a scare
but i am okay, please dont worry, i am hangin in there
i am trying to wake up from the nightmare
and i keep reading my serenity prayer

and everything that i have to face ahead
fills my weary head
and fills me with dread
but its not as intense as it used to be
so i am sad today and its okay to feel that way
from time to time
and i am learning this as i type out this rhyme
and i know i cannot let my emotions climb
to high or to low
cause that part of me is a dead pastime
so please allow me to be tired and broken today
for tomorrow is another day, its Friday
and without further delay
i will move away from grey
and back to yellow

Tags: Poem Depression Poetry

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