I wrote this in July 2009, 7 months into my recovery from depression.

NATURE
i am one with mother nature
the big tall green trees help me hide my disease
i am with people who care
i am with people that have helped me erase my blank stare

the lazy creek is so calm
the flow of the water is perfect
the water navigates its way perfectly through the rocks
and it never breaks its rhythm
i could stare at this beauty forever
cause its a reflection of the perfection that i am trying to achieve

the water in my creek has not flowed so perfectly
and it has crashed on the rocks many times over the last couple of years
so i watch the flow of the creek and i am jealous of how smoothly it navigates
through all of the nooks of its daily existence

its power is deceiving cause it moves steady and silent
much like the way depression took me over
depression is as equal in power as this stream
depression made me steady and silent as i looked over the cliff
at the rocks below
the water called me to go

and i want to yell at the top of my lungs
I AM STILL HERE!!!!!!!!
YOU DID NOT WIN!!!!!!!
and i am proving to myself everyday
THAT I CAN OVERCOME

my existence is not the same as the common man
it is completely different and i soak up life
with a childish sponge quality
i appreciate so many little things
that the common man is blind to and unappreciative of

i see the daily gifts that people take for granted
and thank you is a daily thought in my mind
i feel the daily gifts that people take for granted
and blessed is a daily thought in my mind

this time the water is calling me to be free
to join it in a celebration of life
celebrate the love of my kids and my wife
and to grace its beauty with my new found strength

the water is so cold, 57 degrees
but the cold soothes my burning soul
and my skin welcomes its cool touch
my raft is brand new and leads me down the stream of serenity

i feel like i am being baptized all over again
my hands dance in the cold water
and nothing matters except my peace
i am being greedy and i only care about myself for a few minutes
i have spent a lifetime caring for others
but i am gonna enjoy the greed of enjoying this by myself

the moment comes and goes and i am joined in the water
by someone who is a reflection of the good part of me
she dives into her raft and goes afloat
and it creates a new happy loving moment
that my soul welcomes these days with open arms
and i feel her peace and her love and her happiness
and my heart glows like the sun

and i want to yell at the top of my lungs
I AM GONNA BE OK!!!
I AM GONNA BE FINE!!!
cause other people still love me when i do not love myself

Tags: Poem Depression Poetry

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