I wrote this in Feb 2009. One month after i was diagnosed with Depression.

BETTER
i have stood on the cliff
i have spread my arms
i have stood on the edge
looking at the end in the face
i saw the tiny tocks fall off the edge and fall through the air
i have seen the dark side of life and didn't care
i battled the demons of despair
why did i have to go through that, it isn't fair
 
i wanted to jump off that cliff
i wanted to be free and fly
giving into the darkness inside
leaving my loved ones behind to cry
WHY????
 
i remember the pain
i remember feeling insane
i remember intense thoughts in my brain
i remember the guilt and the shame
i remember losing at the game
of life.....
 
i now stand on the same cliff
but i am calm and serene
i can enjoy all the colors of the sunset
hiding nothing in between
feeling the love for my family
bursting at the seams
 
my mind is different now
and black has changed to rainbow
realizing everyday emotions that i didn't know
cutting myself & letting the goodness flow
blocking out bad memories and enjoying the show
living one day at a time, nice & slow
relearning life through normal eyes
cause this to my family, i owe
 
i do live everyday in fear
because my love is sincere
whispering into my wife's ear
my intentions are clear
and she doesn't have to live in fear
trying my hardest to make this a better year

Tags: Poem Depression Poetry

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